i am going absoulely crazy right now...
i decided im not going out tonight because some of the crazy things i have done the past couple weekends
but its honestly so hard for me when everyone is texting me
and telling me to come to their party or asking which party im attending...
i really need to shed this party girl image

As you get older there comes a time when you're
not scared of the dark or of monsters anymore. You
realize the dark is just the dark and monsters don't
don't exist. But it's also when you become scared of
other things, people themselves. You learn that not
everyone wants to see you succeed. You become aware
of people's underlying intentions and selfish actions.
& the monsters you used to check for under your bed at
night don't even compare to some of the things people do.



I need someone who can keep up with me.
I want someone aggressive, who pushes me
to my breaking point where I just wanna scream.
Someone who will tell me that I'm not always right,
and that sometimes i have to apologize for what i do wrong.
I need someone who's gonna set me straight
because no one has ever cared enough about me to try.

She was the girl who dreamed, who saw things how
they were but never really let it get in the way of her
wishful thinking. She laughed and cried. She lived life
to the fullest; with no intentions of ever turning back
or regretting anything.

I really should be sleeping right now.
But i cant handle that time just before you fall asleep;
When your forced to think about the things youve avoided all day.
Mostly I think about my regrets or the person I've become and it makes me cringe.
So I stay awake long enough that when I go back to bed, I will drift away immediately.  

The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.

We'll pace the roads and we'll paint the skies. Our path is plagued with discontent goodbyes. We're striking the days so we can burn the nights, and I'll never look back on what I've left behind.

I want to draw something that means something to someone. You know? I want to draw blind faith or a fading summer, or just a moment of clarity. It’s like, when you go and see a really great band, live for the first time and, you know, and nobody’s saying it, but everybody’s thinking it.. we have something to believe in again. I want to draw that feeling, but I can’t. And if I can’t be great at it, then I don’t want to ruin it. It’s too important to me."

And the light in your eyes makes me feel like there's something much better out there

If you're feeling frightened about what comes next, don't be. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness, don't waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes; because you'll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart... where your hope lives. You'll find you’re way again.

Sometimes you don't want to know the truth. You may think you do, but once you know, you'd give just about anything to go back to being ignorant.

The only reason we hold back is because we think we have an endless amount of chances or that there will always be one more, but as time disappears into the past and life goes on, those chances will run out and you'll either live with eternal happiness for being brave, or eternal regret for holding back.

i hate how dispensable I am to people. I hate how people feel they can just forget about me, replace me, erase me without even a second thought. It's like I don't matter to anyone. And hey, I mean I don't blame you. I'm no-one special. I just thought you were different. I had more faith in you. And you took that, ripped it up, shoved it in my face and walked away without ever looking back.

You know what I think hurts the most? The feeling of being replaced. It’s like no matter what you did, it wasn’t enough. And no matter what you do to try and capture their heart again, doesn’t seem to work. And you’re suddenly left thinking that you’ll never be enough. And a sudden sadness captures your heart that never really leaves.

I wonder what you look like under your t-shirt. I wonder what you sound like when you're not wearing words. I wonder what we have when we're not pretending.

In some ways, you're pretty lucky. you opened your heart, you put yourself out there. you were ready to make that leap. i'm envious. i wish i knew what that felt like. to find someone who makes you wanna swim the east river in january.

partys will be the death of me

what was i thinking?

love wasnt meant for speed

theses weekends are killing me

once upon a time this was all i wanted,

but no one told me i would feel so empty

i love each and everyone of these quotes

I'm not supposed to be scared of anything, but I don't know where I am. I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted and nobody understands. I'm trying hard to breathe now, but there's no air in my lungs. There's no one here to talk to when the pain inside is making me numb.

"When you're a kid, it's Halloween candy. You hide it from your parents and you eat it until you get sick. In college, it's the heavy combo of youth, tequila and well... you know. As a surgeon, you take as much of the good as you can get because it doesn't come around nearly as often as it should. Because good things aren't always what they seem. Too much of anything, even love, is not always a good thing."

I want to bust the world wide open the way you do when you're filled with youth. I want to engage with lovers and people and fellow cops. I want to be physical and I also want to ask the big questions. I want to taste the tastes and fix the problems. I want to run headlong into chaos and bad guys and darkness and friends and fun and laugh, laugh, laugh. I want to be the best friend and I want to be the greatest aunt and the most complicated daughter. I want to be the mystery in the room and I want to be known.

And then when your plane touches solid ground, and the taxi whisks you on into town, in the glittering lights I’ll be all around, cause we belong with each other.

Somewhere, things must be beautiful and vivid. Somewhere else, life has to be beautiful and vivid and rich. Not like this muted palette - a pale blue bedroom, washed out sunny sky, dull green yellow brown of the fields. Here, I know every twist of the road, every blade of grass, every face in this town and I am suffocating.

I love when the sky is gray.
When the dawn paints the roofs of the buildings and the sun is still hiding.
The city is ours then. Right before everyone takes over,
right when everyone is still sleeping.
It’s hard to notice that it’s so cold when it’s this pretty.

I hope someday somebody wants to hold
you for 20 minutes straight and that's all
they do. they don't pull away. they don't look
at your face. they don't try to kiss you. all they
do is wrap you up in their arms without
an ounce of selfishness in it.

Look a the stars.
They're the same stars as last week.
Last year.
Same as when we were kids.
When we weren't kids.
In a hundred years.
no one will ever know who we are.
But they'll know those same stars.

We cling to music, to poems, to quotes, to writing, to art, because we desperately want to feel together. We want to know that we are not going crazy and that somewhere else out there, someone is feeling exactly what you are feeling. We love everything that is tied up neatly, easily, and simply but when we can not find that, it scares the hell out of us, to not know the next step, or where things are headed. Being unsure is never part of our plan. But it's those moments, the ones where you risk it and take a chance regardless of how vulnerable it makes us, that help us remember that life is larger than we'll ever know.

The city is making me sick, and the season's getting colder. And it's not helping now that we're growing so much older. In all this monotony, oh darling it's getting to me. And how do they expect for me to plan out my life so precisely? And all this negativity, you know it's getting to me. I just don't understand why we all can't run away. Oh, why can't we just run away?